Lifeline
by Stacy O'Rye
Summary: Ikuto was 23 when he met Amu. Misunderstanding made them part their ways until ten years later. He meets her only to know that everything has changed. Everything that is, except one thing: Their feelings. And this time, he was determined to never lose her. She was, after all, his only lifeline.


He met her at Kukai's funeral.

The news of his death was a shock of course; Kukai had been only his brother-in-law for about three months before he was caught in a car accident.

"That damn guy," Ikuto muttered. He was in the tuxedo shop, he hadn't needed to wear a tuxedo since his last violin recital which wasn't since high school. He's 23 now. The shop was full with bitter memories of his harsh violin recital days but he shouldn't think about them now. He won't. But he hated the shop for a new reason. He wasn't quite sure why his mother was so insistent that he got a new suit. Did she really think he was in the mood of picking out tuxedos?

It was only about four hours before the funeral would start.

When he returned home, the lights were out and it was dark. He clicked on a lamp nearby and threw the bag with the tuxedo casually on the couch.

"Mom?" he called out. There was a whimper that made him turn around. It was Utau in her plain, black dress.

"Oh." It was all he could say. Utau was strong, Ikuto knew that well, but he couldn't quite make out what this was. Utau was simply expressionless. She didn't look the least bit of sad but nor was she smiling like an idiot. Not that she had that sort of personality to start with. He always had a difficult time in comforting people when they needed him. He opened his mouth but closed it, not knowing what to say.

"Do you need...anything?" he asked awkwardly. He actually meant if she needed a shoulder to cry on rather than a helper for the funeral like what he thought he sounded like, but it was too late to change it now.

"No...nothing," she said with a small shake and glided off to the hallway listlessly, like a ghost.

"I better get ready," he muttered. Ikuto closed his eyes.

* * *

Even the bleak atmosphere couldn't bleak out Kukai's smile in his funeral picture. He was like the freakin' sun.

There were various of speeches but the speakers were droning. Their eulogies were like the priest's talks during the Mass he had once went to when he was a little kid. Their empty words captured nothing of Kukai's persona nor the sadness. Utau's sadness. Utau. She remained like an empty shell but her eyes shone a little every time Kukai's name was mentioned. She was 4 years older than Ikuto but she seemed like a little kid. Her hair in careful pigtails, her neat black headband bringing back her bangs and her feet kicking the air as if they couldn't reach the ground.

He decided to leave. His mother may yell at him later for being rude but Ikuto really hoped that Kukai would understand. Ikuto felt that a private mourning would be much more suitable. However, it was impossible since Kukai since that guy had way too many close friends to have a small, private funeral. Imagine that.

It was pouring like crazy and Ikuto couldn't stand the atmosphere. He felt frustrated at the people he saw swarming in the crowd. He quietly stood up and instinctively picked up an umbrella from his bag and walked out.

However even when he managed to leave the room, something was still suffocating him. He leaned his back of the wall of the building and looked up, seeing that the roof still extended so that he would be protected from the rain. He tried to understand his knot inside of his stomach when he realized his face was wet when it shouldn't be. His eyes were welling up with warm tears. He honestly had no idea who Kukai really was other than his bubbly personality that may have been fake but Ikuto couldn't stop. He realized it in his father's funeral. Ikuto was unable to stop tears once they came. He wanted to get out. Out. OUT.

"Eeh? I don't want to use Kitty-Shan!" there was a little squeal of disappointment interrupting his thoughts. He looked up. He purposely stepped out into the rain, hoping that his tears would be mistaken for the water from the clouds.

"Kitty cold!" was another protest from the same person. He saw, not too far away from him a little girl, no more than 4 or 5 with large brown eyes. She was holding the hood of her rain coat tightly.

"Ami, you're going to get wet!" There was a older voice reprimanding the girl. He could only see the shadow of the older figure but from what he could tell, it seemed like a girl.

"No! Kitty cold!" Ami replied again. He took a step closer and realized that the hood that the little girl was holding had cat ears. Ikuto despite of himself, couldn't help but smile at the girl's desire to protect her rain-coat cat from the rain.

Ikuto walked towards the little girl. The rain had drowned his footsteps so the little girl jumped a mile when she realized he was near her.

He was right that the other voice belonged to an older girl. The girl had bravely slid between Ami and himself and spread out her arms as if she was about to take a bullet. He took a step back.

Another thing that surprised him was her face. He actually couldn't see her too well but he could tell that her eyes were puffed up with tears. Her nose was red like the reindeer and her hair was disheveled as if she had been grabbing it. Ikuto had actually expected Utau to have this picture but instead some stranger was having it instead.

"I-I just wanted to see if you needed an umbrella," he said quickly. The girl looked at him suspiciously. Ikuto blinked and suddenly acknowledged how strange the girl's hair color was: pink. Suddenly the girl relaxed and looked apologetic.

"Wait, you're Kukai's brother-in-law aren't you?" Ikuto nodded.

"Sorry...I just..."

"It's alright." He opened the umbrella and gave it to her. He had a feeling she took it automatically and didn't even know she took it.

He watched the pair, as he became soaked in the rain.

He wasn't sure why, but he kinda wanted to see her again.

It was as if she was his lifeline.

* * *

I wrote this a LONG time ago, when I first joined FF and this is the original chapter of Lifeline. I had originally wanted the story to be angst but I decided against it and changed it completely.

Tell me what you think! Even though the story is technically incomplete, if readers don't enjoy it, I don't think it'd be bad if I ended this version here.

If you thought this was too depressing or too boring, check out my other Lifeline story which is more upbeat and I made sure to put down on my New Year's Resolution that I would finish that story this year. I shall try T0T


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